goodbye!

yeah, im still alive just havnt felt like posting.
i leave in a few hours to go camping for the 4th. i really need the break, i just hope it helps.

i hope everyone else is good, ill catchup when i get back.

is it bad that i pretty much dont care about anything right now.

today just flat out kicked my ass. Work, was just that, WORK! busy with customers, we got in a new order, i had to unload it check it in, and put in on the floor, and this was the rolled canvas order. errr very heavy huge things to move. aside from that, lots of paper work and other stupid crap my boss decided to go hey donovan, here.
I guess all that was good, because it did keep my mind off all the other crap circle round and round in my head, but it only worked for so long.

I'm just done right now, im tired of being the single guy, that doesnt date, doesnt drink, doesnt do anything. am i really that boring and pathedic, i dont think so. but fuck.... why is life punching me in the face, and then when im down kicking me agian, just for good measure.

yes i know im being really hard on myself, bad things just pile up for me, and im not talking just over the last 6 months, in my head it feels like its been over 3 years since something was majorly different.

thats how long its been since i was in a serious relationship, A real one. i still say that one ended for a good reason and i needed to move on, but damnit why is it taking so lone to move one. and i know i've tried ive asked out my hand ful of girls, that number would be hire if i hadn't found out some where married. if that ones that really seem to be interested in getting to know me and i think something might be there i try to hang out with more and get something going but so far its always ended badly and blah its really gone no where.

ok this entry is turning more into a rant then i intened it to be, so im going to end on this last note

i give up...
not just on life
or girls,
or photography,
or friends,
art, bowling, people, music

i dont know anymore, what do i give up one, i just feel exhausted on energy and will to do what ever i need to improve things right now.

im in a rut and i want out, its time for vaction again.

-dEc,

QUOTE: "everything will be ok in the end, if its not ok, then dont worry its not the end."

23/male/ca

bored, looking to chat

SN: herryeknom

Ok i have a new project, as if i don't have enough to do, but i think i really need to start this one. I'm not quiet sure where i got this, but i think its from many different things. Ill explain more about why I'm doing this later, perhaps after I've slept on it.
All you need to know right now is that I going post, every week, my favorite 10 photos that i take each week.
and i need all of your help to get me started. What should i take pictures of this week.

I'm still unsure where i want to post this pictures. Not sure if i want this on myspace, or linked to my website, or rather just create it under some new site and go from there. 10 images a week is my goal. It started as one a day but some days i just dont have time to take a picture, but maybe doing this will change that. and Perhaps i find that posting only 5 photos a week will be better. i guess only time will tell.

-dEc

so this evening didn't turn out the way i wanted. I call Lindsey at lunch and asked if she wanted to paint tonight, she said yeah of course, and told me to call her after i got out of class. I was so excited, it made work crawl by, even though we where crazy busy with students.
ok so fast forward to after work I'm at class and my phone rings, its Lindsey, she said she was already at her studio and it was freezing cold so she wants to make plans for another night. I was so bummed but i understood. We ended up changing the subject and talking about school and other stuff for a few before getting back to painting and we decided I'd call tomorrow after class or if that doesn't work then Thursday should work, which is really good for me cause I don't have class or work after 3:30.

so tomorrow is my long day, 12 plus hours on campus, its almost 11 i think ill go to bed early.

i just found out the none of my friends on here could see me last 3 entries. so i have fixed the problem and now everyone new friends and old can read my recent entries.

ever have one of those nights where you just don't wanna go to bed.....

yeah i'd say today what average. nothing to fancy i spent most of it pissed off at my boss or customers but id say that was pretty much cuase i didnt' get any sleep last night.

this pretty cool chick came in around 3 and we talked for a while. she was artsy chick. I mean that by the way she dresses, nothing high dollar, her hair was a few different colors. and the hottest part was her neck she had on a collar/choker how which ever you wanna call it. It was actually a dog collar lime green with a bell and a property of tag.

to catch everyone old and new up on my love life. there isn't much on one. I did go visit my ex about a month ago, we had are fun in and out of the bedroom. I enjoyed the trip and she learned i really dont want to get back into a relationship with her. She was glad i visited but that pretty much the end of that story. I'm still crushin on Melissa the girl from my photo class. We talk quite a bit usually just about school stuff. She is still dating daniel, so we've just become really good friends and im happy with that for now.
I have a few girls im half way interesting in but it's probably for the wrong reason so basicly i'm back ground zero.

ok on to something else.
my strands show is completely over and none with i go to pick up the last couple of photographs on Tuesday. I was a pretty good success i got my name out there and sold 5 or 6 pieces. I book a show for October which should be a really good place to show but that's 8.5 months away so i need to find a sooner place to display my book also.

not much else is new, i am looking for a place to move but im not trying very hard yet.
my parents are still finalizing there divorce and i'm ignoring all of it.
i still really enjoy my art store job ever when my boss decided to do stuff shit.
im finally a full time student again. 2 photo classes and a figure drawing class.

as always ask me anything you want.

-dEc

QUOTE: Someday I'll be the artist formally known as "Starving"

Today December 1st, Is world AIDS day!

http://www.worldaidsday.org/

I'm doing a project where I have to take pictures of things there remind me what it's like to be a child.
What reminds you most of being a child? Like going to McDonald's and getting a happy meal just for the toy. or Sitting and watching Saturday morning cartoons. What makes you wish you could be a child forever?

Any thoughts? Advice, or comments would be appreciated.

ok everyone needs to click on this and let me know if it works.

Ok so i don't think i posted yesterday i was so fucking tired after helping nic move. but its all done, he is move, he just have 400 boxes to unpack, lol.

nothing of any importance happened today.

i deleted a bunch of people, basically because i saw there journal and said i'm sorry i don't read your journal, or i removed them. now my friends page is really empty only like 4 main journal for people that post every day or so.

knowing me ill go on a friends search soon, but for now ill keep it like this.

ok i really need to go to bed now.

-dEc,

Ok, I have to many lj people on my list. I just can't keep tract of who's who. So it’s chop chop time. I think I want to just it down to like 1 dozen people. If you feel the need to plead your case to be saved, then do so, but if I don’t know you by now, I’m probably not going to get to know you sorry but this is the mean Donovan talking, lol. Those of you know who you are the journals that i comment on are going to be kept, there are one or two that I’ve been meaning to read and haven't so I’m keeping you. I also adding 2 new people this morning of course you'll stay.

In other new I'm been promoting my show today. :)
Poker starts in about an hour.

I don't normally take photos of people, not sure why but I just haven’t. Today I spent a lot of time of deviant art looking at self-portraits and other like photos, and now i have this drive to find a few models and do some picture taking.

-dEc,

Good Bye to one of the worlds great comedians, George Carlin.


"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it."

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?"

"Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all knowing, all powerful, all mighty but he needs money. He can't handle money!"

"The fallowing sentence is true. The previous statement was false"

OK Phase one is done.

I just cut my Friends list in half and have deleted my profile.

I'm going to probably cut more people in a week or two and write a new profile, and also i need new icons.

This entry is public and if you would like to be readded just let me know, i cut a bunch of people really quickly i may have cut someone by mistake.

Congrats to everyone whom made it!

-dEc

I may be gone for a few days, I'm just to distracted right now to put the time i want into Lj. I need to straighten up some things and then I'll be back.

Basicly I'm not here today, I mean mentally I just dont have it together today...

Work was full of ups and downs. 

I dont wanna sleep. Yet, I'm fucking exhausted. 

My mind can't relax it hasn't for a few days and I dont know how to help right now.

"meh" made popular by the Simpson's is now in the dictionary!

and on that note, that kinda how i feel,
i had a longer entry i wanted to make but i'm going to skip it and just go to bed.

i hope everyone is doing good, i can't decided whats going on with me...